Caressing the Ephemeral
Everything is ephemeral. Everything. You, your mom, your boyfriend, your siblings, technology, college, everything. Things break. People die. (For now)
“But what you do in your life can be recorded like the lives of heroes and celebrities”, you might think. And yes, it is recorded.
But planet Earth is also ephemeral. Some Russian could trip while going to the office and just set off a nuclear bomb. Maybe some fool accidentally creates a black hole, and we become an orange of nothing, or everything, who knows. Any apocalyptic scenario you can think of or have seen in a movie is valid. Nothing surprises anymore. My favorite is the appearance of zombies, but favoritism is for parents.
And after death? No one knows what’s after. The guy who comes with a little book to tell you the truth doesn’t know either because he’s clearly alive, okay? Everyone with their beliefs, but while we’re here, we’re here.
Well, why are you throwing so much crap at me, Manuel? Because knowing you’re ephemeral mentally frees you.
Do you understand that you’re standing on a giant ball of earth? And that the ball of earth revolves around a ball of fire? And that despite spinning, you’re “still”? And that despite being surrounded by emptiness, you have an atmosphere that allows you to breathe? It’s like coming home at midnight and being awaited with hot food on the table.
The chances that YOU exist are VERY low. Just the part of being born, eh. And the chances of developing exactly the personality you have now are LOWER. The mere fact of existing is having a lot of luck.
And you’re here, and that’s what matters.
People live too worried about material things or situations that are temporary. You’re constantly looking to reach “that” to be happy. And I hate people who talk about happiness because it’s very subjective, but I’m sure that’s NOT what makes you happy.
When I have the body I want, I’ll be happy. When I get those pants, I’ll be happy. When I meet that person, I’ll be happy. When I have a lot of money, I’ll be happy. When that band comes, I’ll be happy. When I finish college, I’ll be happy.
No, you have to do what you want to do now. Right now. We keep complaining about nonsense. Do you know the shame I feel when I say out loud, “It’s so annoying I don’t get wifi here,” or when I complain about not being able to buy a phone? I feel like an idiot. How relevant is that going to be tomorrow? Or the day after tomorrow?
The worst part is when you get what you want, it’s more or less like this: WOOHOO, YES, FINALLY, FUCK YEAH! And then: Meh. And the phone is just another phone.
It’s like being with someone you don’t like. At first, it’s not bad. Then you have a great time. And five seconds later, you want to die, and you feel empty.
We need to enjoy the present more, man. It’s horrible to live with that fear of what might happen. Even in relationships. Now the system is to have one foot in and one foot out just in case. That fear of getting to know the other person sabotages you.
I don’t do things because they’re “for this” or “for that”; I do them because they fulfill me, and I feel good that way. And if someday things don’t work out with that person anymore, you leave knowing you had a good time and didn’t deprive yourself of doing anything at the time.
The thing is to do well what you do. What does that mean? If you like someone, take responsibility and like them wholeheartedly. Because it’s a thousand times better to end up crying on a bus than to let everything go to waste because you didn’t dare to express what you felt.
And I’m not talking about showing up at their house with roses and that nonsense. The best part of relating to people is being open to their way of seeing the world, life. Every person you meet will teach you something. Because they were a jerk, and now you know how to deal with other jerks. Because you messed up, and now you know how bad it feels to screw up. Anyway, you get it.
As the Anticasper say:
“Hunger came today, entered my house. It brought a very heavy suitcase. It told me, ‘If you’re going to start your life, take off the plastic that’s on top.’”